Children do not understand that this is not a cause of worry...

Children do not understand that this is not a cause of worry and may begin to imagine the worst. To them, it could be a sign that the parents do not love each other, that they may even divorce and destroy his world. This causes depression and loss of security among children. Worse, it could have damaging effects as the child grows.

He could look upon the conflicting relationship of his parents as a normal relationship for married couples and this could have a major effect on his own relationships. Some parents even try to make their children take sides. If a wife feels her husband is treating her unfairly, she may talk to the children and make them see her side. She would like to turn them against her husband, at least to a certain degree. What she fails to realize is that the husband is a father to her children.

They would like to respect and love him. By poisoning them against him she is doing them a great injustice. She could be damaging a relationship that has the potential to bring the child great well. This also applies to those who try to turn children against their grandparents or other relatives. Because of a conflict with in-laws, children are told of how unfair and oppressive the family is. To deprive the children of love and respect for their extended family is also a great wrong.

Parents should not let their own quarrels keep their children away from enjoying the special love of grandparents and other relatives. The best thing parents can do for a child is present a loving and harmonious relationship among them. It boosts the child both mentally and emotionally and helps him form loving relationships in his own life. It is true that arguments cannot always be dismissed.

But they must be done in private, away from the child who cannot understand or bear fighting among his parents. 3. Expecting too much of children Some parents would like their children to behave totally like adults. They don’t want them to run around, play, to talk loudly, or even touch things around the house. What they should understand is that all these activities are part of growing up.

To be healthy adults, children need to have passed through various stages, each of which is a building block in their character. In the Hadith of Al-Mufazzal,(one of Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq’s companions) our sixth Imam describes the wisdom behind the childish behaviour which some adults dislike.