When people marry...

When people marry, a family is born, and as mentioned above, different families make up the society. This family (marriage) needs laws to regulate it so that it does not deteriorate. A deterioration in family is a deterioration in society. Well, there are two concepts one should comprehend when thinking about marriage and the laws of marriage. These concepts are 1) today and 2) the hereafter. One must understand the needs of this worldly life as well as the needs for the hereafter.

One cannot just focus on one and ignore the other. For example, when a man is looking to get married, he should choose a wife with wisdom. (peace be upon him and his family) said that when you want to get married, do not look for beauty or wealth alone, first look at religion . (Jalali, page 423). Why? The quality of the wife (as well as the man), meaning her religious foundation, will keep the marriage strong because there is an understanding of the hereafter.

If one’s spouse only cares about this world, it is easy to go astray, but if one worries about the hereafter, then one may struggle to stay on the right path. Also, the religious foundation of a wife will pass onto and educate the children. The real teacher of the family is the mother. A poet once wrote that a mother is the first teacher who teaches all teachers. (Jalali, page 422).

Generally, the mother will spend the most time with the children, and that is why it is crucial that the mother has a strong religious foundation. Allah (the Most High) says via the Qur’an (2:221) , inter alia , “Do not marry idolatresses until they embrace faith.” (See Jalali, page 423). The mother is the real heart of the family, and the family is a cornerstone of society.

That is why Islam considers the role of the wife/mother to be very important and honorable, and the role of the wife/mother is to be respected. Therefore, marrying a woman with a strong religious foundation is a great start. But it is only a start. One must maintain true Islamic teachings and rulings during the marriage.

Allah (the Most Wise) says via the Qur’an (30:21) , “And of His signs is that He created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you. There are indeed signs in that for a people who reflect.” (See Jalali, page 423). Accordingly, the husband and wife should respect each other and deal with each other with kindness, not anger.