With everything happening around me I felt as if there was...

With everything happening around me I felt as if there was no reason to live at all. Although my parents had sent us to weekly Catholic school and frequent the Church, my heart didnt feel alive. I would simply feel the need to go in order to get away from what went on at home. In school I wasnt the brightest child. As a 6 th grader I had a reading level of a 1 st grader. Every year throughout elementary school I was ordered to take summer school in order to pass to the next grade.

I had failed the 2 nd grade and hardly made through the remaining next 6. It was in the elementary school when I learned how to steal. It would become a constant habit. Whenever I had the chance I would steal anything and everything I could get my hands on. Sooner than later my brother had joined me. We went to Gas Stations and stole candy, then to Department stores and stole toys. There was one time when mom gave us a few dollars to buy dad a Fathers Day gift.

My brother and I decided to spend the money on popcorn and nachos and stole his giftEvidently we were caught and were about to be arrested; Mom came to our rescue. A few years later my brother had went in his direction and I went my own way. I gave up on stealing and began writing music/poetry and playing guitar. I eventually joined a band and would use the jam sessions as a scapegoat to get away from my problems.

In High School my brother had befriended many drug addicts and soon he began doing drugs. I am not saying he was a drug addict but he did drugs like the rest of them. When I was about 12 maybe 13 I began working as an electrician helper with my uncle. I held that job until I was about 16, then I began working on my own doing electrical, carpentry and painting contract jobs. This helped me move out of my parents home and move into my first apartment.

Around this time I had met a girl who would become my fianc within a matter of months. I was the extremely shy type. As matter of fact she had asked me out on a date instead of the other way around. Needless to say, we were together and wanted to get married. About a year or 2 into our relationship she began practicing Islam. She was born into a family where her father was Muslim and her mother was Catholic. My fianc was jammed in the middle; simply confused.

She began informing me of the Muslim religion and I was completely turned off by the whole idea. The more she spoke of it the more I pushed her away.