Without ever reading a Quran or talking to another Muslim...

Without ever reading a Quran or talking to another Muslim, I said shahada (declaring your belief in no god but God) on 31 December 1999. As the months passed, I learned more. I went through many periods of confusion, happiness, doubt and amazement. Islam took me on an enlightening tour of me, everyone else, and God. The transition was slow. I was still attending Mass five months into my change of faith.

Each time I went, I felt more and more distant from the congregation, but closer and closer to Prophet Jesus and God. During Ramadan 2001, the second time I fasted (the first year, I converted during Ramadan and did not fast), I went to the library during lunch period. It was better than sitting at a table with my friends, because I got work done in the library. I swear my grades went up. I started talking to the only other Muslim at my school, John. We talked about Islam a little more each day.

Hes an awesome brother and he took me to the mosque on the last Friday of Ramadan. Going was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. God really answered my prayers this time. I thought I would be nervous, but I wasnt at all. It was the most natural thing I ever did in my life. I felt home. I realized something before leaving. As I sat there on the floor, praying to God, I realized that the room was full of others but it was OK.

See, at home when someone asks me what I am doing, I never say I am praying. I never admit it to anyone. It is too awkward. But there, at the masjid, I was praying to God in front of a score of other Muslims and I felt perfectly fine. Better than fine! I felt natural and safe. It was the most liberating thing since I accepted God into my heart that cold New Years Eve almost two years ago. I never told my parents right out. In fact, I dont plan to.

The most significant clue that I gave came around 1:00 AM on 16 December 2001, when I finally told my dad I was going to the mosque in the morning with a friend when he asked me why I was setting my alarm. He chewed me out, to say the least. I never told them straight out because I figured it was best to test the waters by revealing clues bit by bit; I didnt want to send a shockwave through the family. I can only imagine what my dad would do if he knew I was actually a practicing Muslim.

I understand that my dad is a depressed man, so I dont really hold this all against him. I mean, it is his fault for thinking himself so smart that he doesnt need God.