I found out that he only prayed once a day...

I found out that he only prayed once a day, didnt fast, and hadnt been on Hajj, but this somehow got to me and I started reading anything and everything I could find about Islam. Over the next ten or twelve years I had periods when I would read extensively and periods when I wouldnt give it a thought. I quickly began to admire the ethics of Muslim families, the way children were taught respect for their elders, the way they all spoke up for each other.

I also began to feel the need to speak up for them, it always appeared they were the ones to be persecuted. About three years ago I realised that I was spending more and more time thinking about Islam and that without realising it I would steer conversations with friends around to this subject. I also noted that I was very slowly changing my own habits, dressing more discreetly, not drinking, praying (not as a Muslim), something I had not done for a very long time.

I then found myself saying this is ridiculous I am not a Muslim I am a Christian and I would go out of my way to convince myself of this. I changed my job and went to work in London for the first time and made sure that I always went out with colleagues to bars and restaurants after work, I bought more showy clothes, I am sorry to say that I neglected my family duties, I was too tired to do housework and cooking.

My husband & sons (my daughter had by now gone to University and set up home on her own) had to fend for themselves. My Muslim friend asked why I was doing this to my family and I told him about my feelings for Islam, I guess he wasnt all bad as his response was to buy me an English translation of the Quran. I was hooked! January 2001 I made one last attempt to convince myself that I was not a Muslim, I changed my job again. This time to work for a West End theatre producer, even more partying.

But it didnt work and I quickly realised that I was making myself physically sick. I developed several different illnesses all with symptoms brought about (according to my doctor) by stress. I was taking several types of medication. One day at the beginning of September 2001 I was reading the Quran when without realising what I was doing I said the Shahadah to myself and felt the most wonderful sense of completeness and a serenity I had never felt before.

I made the decision there and then that I would find somewhere to really learn how to become a Muslim and to say Shahadah again, but this time in front of witnesses.