All the programmes for the family are to be finalized by the husband...

All the programmes for the family are to be finalized by the husband, but he should consult the wife. If she makes a good suggestion, he should accept it. One tradition of Amirul Mu’minin (a.s.) is very popular. Some people deduce a wrong meaning from it: “Consult your wives, but don’t follow their advice!” Can he ever suggest that men should consult their wives and turn down their ideas even if they are good? Do people think that Ali (a.s.) will ever talk such nonsense.

The real meaning of the tradition is that the husbands must consult their wives and turn down their suggestions only if they are not good. The men must listen to their wives, but the final decision is in his hands. He may accept her suggestion. This above statement of Amirul Mu’minin, is totally in agreement with what the Holy Quran says on the matter. The Quran addresses the Holy Prophet, “Consult with your companions. Don’t ignore them. Don’t ignore the Muslims. Respect their personalities.

In one of the traditions the Prophet of Allah (s) has said that one must consult his eldest son in important matters. The son is the master for the first seven years, a slave or servant for the next seven years and an assistant for the next seven years of his life. For the first seven years of a child's life, we must listen to what he says and wants. During the next seven years he should be trained to do work and should be made to work, so that he becomes a good human being and is not lazy.

When he becomes above fourteen years of age, he should be consulted. Our children have a special place in society that should be given to them. It is the parents who can develop children with strong characters. It is wrong to tell a fourteen-years old boy or girl that he/she is stupid or foolish. The Holy Quran says that we must treat our children with kindness. Use words like ‘my dear’ while addressing them. Address them politely and with affection.

They must be told to be polite in talking to others. They should also be instructed that any type of polytheism is a major sin.