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Shiavault - a Vault of Shia Islamic Books Islamic Family-life Ethics The Twenty-first Talk Compatibility At Home Today we shall discuss about the atmosphere of harmony and togetherness at home. We should know that a hundred-percent harmony in any home is next to impossible. The husband and wife; the daughter and mother-in-law; the father and son cannot all be of the same nature! There will be marked differences between their natures and behaviour.

Differences amongst the inhabitants of a home are, but natural. We cannot deny this, we have to accept this. We seem to be totally ignorant of the fact that a hundred percent compatibility is next to impossible. If there is a 100% ethical compatibility, it is indeed a great gift from Allah. However, if a husband and wife agree to the extent of, say, seventy-percent, the situation is very good. They should be thankful to Allah that they are highly blessed!

I can say with confidence that if they are fifty-percent compatible, then too, they are lucky! Similarly if the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law; father and son; mother and daughter agree in all matters up to fifty-percent, they will be fine. If the agreement is around seventy-percent, then they must thank Allah that their family is blessed! But if the compatibility is around 50% to 70% what steps should we take so as to take care for the remaining differences?

Two actions can remove the existing differences between the members of such families. I shall deal with the first in this talk and the other in the following session. One of the two actions is love! Love The first thing that can obviate differences is love and affection. If love prevails between husband and wife; daughter and mother-in-law; and parents and children, then the thirty or fifty-percent difference of opinion that remains will not have any deleterious effect on their relationships.

The rays of love will overwhelm these differences. Love makes people blind and deaf. One sentence of the Holy Prophet (s) illustrates this point: If you like or love someone, then you will not notice the person’s failings You will neither recount such a person’s weaknesses nor will you like others to mention them in your presence. If perchance, someone relates to you the shortcomings of your loved one, howsoever true, you will make an effort to defend him.

If someone looks at a person with love, he hides and overlooks all his defects. Loving eyes are unable to see defects in the loved one.