To me the answer to the differences in our faith is just that simple.

To me the answer to the differences in our faith is just that simple. It was also helpful seeing our daughter as a mother and knowing that many of our basic values were being passed on. She is a very caring and delightful daughter and a wonderful mother of now two boys ages 10 and 3. We still have a loving relationship that all of us work very hard to keep. We have a good family foundation, and I'm sure it will withstand any differences we may face in years to come.

We are fortunate that they do partake in family Christmas festivities. They think of it as their "Eid" sharing time with us. When Eid really arrives, they share it with her husband's family and friends. I don't know if that will last forever, but for now that is how we handle it. We do not celebrate Islamic celebrations with them only to acknowledge them and respect the value they have in their lives.

Each family's story is different, but in these three stories each family wants to work with the situation. Although cares and concerns are still present, they are working out how to relate. As family, we are always in relationship whether it is positive or negative. Parents may have feelings of betrayal, of being wounded or fractured. The way parents react to the daughter may cause the same feelings in her.

At some point in the process of reconciliation there has to be a decision of how to handle the hurt and how to allow that to affect oneself. Many times we are mindless about our relationship and are not aware of how we are treating others. We are so quick to defend ourselves, so quick to pull our heads into our shells like a turtle, so resistant at times to anything that is outside our understanding.

Steps Toward Reconciliation There are common threads in the three stories shared by these parents that are played out differently in each situation. These common threads can help us navigate in positive ways through relationship building and maintainance in our own situations of reconciliation. First, there was an innate yearning to maintain the relationship even though deep hurt and separation had occurred.

In Story 1 the mother states that "we loved her and wanted to continue being a part of her life." My own experience of reconciliation was one of wanting to make the relationship good. It didn't happen immediately. In fact it would have been easy to have gotten stuck in the resistance mode, which was my first reaction.