ভূমিকা

Shiavault - a Vault of Shia Islamic Books Principles of Upbringing Children Chapter 66: Friends and Friendship A good friend and companion is the greatest gift of God. In adversity, a friend only is the refuge for a person and solace for his heart and soul. In this world, that is full of hardships and hurdles, presence of a true friend is absolutely necessary for every individual. One who doesn’t have any friend, will be like a person, all alone, away from home.

He will not have anyone to commiserate with him in the times of need. Imam Musa ibn Ja’far was asked what is the ideal source for comfort in this world. The Imam replied: “An airy house and plenty of friends!"[^1] Imam ‘Ali says: “The weakest person is one who cannot make anyone his friend and brother."[^2] “Not having friends is like being a stranger in ones own land and being a loner." [^3] As the grown ups need friends, the children too want friends and companions.

A child who doesn’t have friends, will always be lonely and forlorn. The child, by nature, needs a friend and companion. He cannot be denied this natural need. There is also a subtle difference between a friend and acquaintance. Perhaps, a child may have acquaintances but no friends. Sometimes a child selects a friend from his class fellows and the children in his neighborhood. The cause for picking up a particular person as a friend may not be evident.

Perhaps the spiritual similarity between the two has brought them together. The Commander of the Faithful, ‘Ali, says: “The hearts of people are like migrant nomads, whosoever loves them, they are attached to him." [^4] A friend cannot be thrust on anyone. The parents cannot very much restrict the child to accept particular persons as friends. The child must be free to make his own choice of friends. But this freedom will be with some conditions and restrictions.

The character and conduct of the friends will have to be observed by the parents before they permit the child to pick a friend. If a child selects a courteous and polite friend, he will definitely benefit by picking up his good habits. To the contrary, if the friend has undesirable habits then, naturally, the child will take to some of his bad habits. There are plenty of children and youths fallen into the morass of sin because of indiscreetly selecting bad friends. .