ভূমিকা

Shiavault - a Vault of Shia Islamic Books Principles of Upbringing Children Chapter 45: Stubbornness Every child will have a degree of stubbornness in its nature that becomes evident from the age of two years. A stubborn child generally insists to get things done his way. Whenever he finds some resistance from others, he will have recourse to crying and shouting. It will roll on the ground and hit its head against the walls. The child may even refuse to have food.

It will throw the crockery and sometimes even become aggressive and hit the other members of the family. This habit of stubbornness, if it persists, is also noticed in grown up youth. Generally the parents complain about this aberration in their children and keep searching a solution to the problem.

It is the common experience that the parents have access to one of the two methods, mentioned here, to overcome the problem: Firstly : Some parents are of opinion that a tough attitude should be taken, if the child is stubborn, by refusing to accede to his demands. These parents say that the child has become very assertive and they need to be firm in denying its wishes. They try to correct the child by being strict and go to the extent of punishing and beating him.

They try to impose their own wishes on the child. The behavior of such parents is tantamount to tit-for-tat attitude. This approach is not desirable even if they have momentarily quietened the child by being strict. To the contrary they cause grave harm to the psyche of the child with their strict attitude. Two years is the age of the onset of self-determination and confidence in a child. The obstinate behavior of the child is the assertion of its nature of independence.

At this tender age the child is not capable of controlling its wishes and imagining the consequences of fulfilling them. It makes up its mind and wants the things done accordingly. If the parents deny him his wishes, they would be hurting the child’s psyche. Such children might grow into calm individuals but they will be devoid of the trait of confidence and determination.

When a child notices that nobody is concerned about its wishes and are preventing him by force from having his way, then he will become dejected and disappointed. This condition of unrest and frustration becomes a part of his nature.