Such persons expect too much love from their spouses and...

Such persons expect too much love from their spouses and expect them to comply with all their wishes, howsoever unreasonable they might be. But in practical lives, there is always the need of give-and-take and seldom there are any spouses who submit to one way traffic in their lives. There are innumerable wives who take cudgels against unreasonable attitudes adopted by their husbands. The result is domestic unrest.

Similarly a pampered daughter, when married, expects greater love from her husband than he has for his parents. She expects him to meet all her demands without giving a thought to their reasonableness. Generally men do not like complying with all the wishes of such nagging wives. The result, naturally, is constant bickering in the family. Such men and women are also seen who continue the childish habit of quarrelling in their advanced ages.

Such persons are so immature that they continue to behave like small children in their adult days. The children getting their upbringing with over-indulgent, pampering parents are generally of delicate constitution and frail physique. They generally look for the support of others and are not independent. Whenever they face any hardship, they look for avenues of escape. They lack courage of taking up big and difficult tasks.

If faced with difficulties, they look for succour from others than depending on their own selves and on Allah. The persons who have received over-indulgent upbringing are generally egotistic and self-centered. Having received superficial praises in their early days, they assume false airs of importance during their adult life. They are not able to discern their own failings and, to the contrary, think that these very lacunae are their merits.

They work under a false sense of pride, which in itself is a grave psychological ailment. ‘Ali has said: “Self-conceit (egotism) is the worst thing."[^1] “A person who is an egoist and is living within himself, will become aware of his own flaws and failings."[^2] Such a person expects others to heap on him their false praises. He will therefore have sycophants and flatterers around him. But the forthright and true persons will not have any place in his company.

The egoists, instead of winning devotion of others, generally invite their ire.