When they grow into adults...

When they grow into adults, they persist with the dominating trait and their expectations surpass the means of the parents. . If the parents express their inability to meet their demands, they have recourse to lots of hullabaloo to get their way. Because such children are aware of the overindulgence of the parents, they always have recourse to lies to get what they wish to have.

Parents at times come to such a pass that out of their love they overlook the need for good upbringing and indulge the childs whims and fancies. They close their eyes to the failings of the child and neglect the need for reforming him. To humor the child, the parents sometimes overlook the norms fixed by the religion (Shariah) Imam Mohammed Baqir says: The worst father is one who exceeds unreasonably in the love for his child. [2] The child should always live in optimism and fear (of God).

He should have the feeling that truly he is the beloved of the parents and they would come to his rescue [1] Ghurar al-Hikam, Page 659. [2] Ibid., Page 659. in times of need. He should also be made aware of the fact that for any fault of his the parents would hold him accountable. Dr.

Jalali writes: If a child lives in an environment where he is pampered, always others take sides with him, close their eyes to his wrong deeds and he is not groomed for the harsh realities of the future; he will then be subject to many hardships as a member of the society. From his very birth the child has to be trained that he has to exist with others in the society and his wishes have to be in harmony with the wishes of others in the society.

[1] Dr Jalali also writes: Love for the child is essential. But the feeling in a child that the parents spend all their time humoring him is not right. [2] If the child cries unnecessarily and expresses anger to win the attention of the parents to fulfill his unfair demands, then the parents should firmly and tactfully deny compliance. They should leave him alone for a while for him to realize that he cannot always get his way.

If the parents exercise some patience in such situations, the child will become quiet after some protestation. If a child falls on the ground, it is not necessary to pick him up or console him. Let the child rise himself when he falls down. Train him to take care that he does not fall [1] Rudanshinashi Kudak, Page 354. [2] Ibid., Page 461. again. When a child hits his head against a wall by accident, it is not necessary to kiss him or over-indulge him.