If the parents accept the fights between children as a...

If the parents accept the fights between children as a temporary and natural phase, then they would not worry about it so much. Another psychologist says: Lots of activities of the children like playing pranks on one another, fighting and wrestling with one [1] Ruwan Shinasi Kudak, Page 286. another will taper off with passage of time. [1] Yes, it is right that most parents cannot completely eliminate the fights between their children.

But with tact and clever handling they can reduce their frequency and intensity. The careful parents never remain spectators when the children fight. They intervene tactfully and ensure that the children dont cause bodily harm to each other during fights. They have first to investigate the cause of the fight and try to eliminate it. One main cause of the differences between the children is the feeling of jealousy.

It is necessary that the reason for the jealousy springing up in the child is detected and a remedy found. A child wants all the attention for himself. He doesnt like to share the affections of the parents with other children. The first-born is generally pampered by the parents. But when the second arrives, the conditions are changed. Naturally the parents have to divide their attention and have to give the major share to the smaller child.

Now the elder child starts getting the feeling of insecurity. He starts feeling neglected. He feels the new arrival is an uninvited guest who is holding the attention and care of his beloved parents. He becomes envious of the baby, but knows that he has to tolerate him because the parents are showering love on him. In such situations the elder child sometimes malingers, pretending illness, to keep the attention of the parents concentrated on him.

Sometimes he may fall on the floor, refuse to eat food, cry and try other pretences to attract the parents attention. Such a child considers himself deprived and develops a [1] Ruwan Shinasi Kudak,, Page 286. sort of hatred for his other siblings. He awaits an opportunity to wreak revenge on them. The parents have to discreetly avoid such situations arising. They should prepare the children to receive the new arrival before he is born.

They must tell the children that their little sibling is expected soon. When it will grow up, it will play with them and love them. When they prepare something for the newborn, they should give some gifts to the elder children too, so that they dont feel neglected.