The best love and affection for the child...

The best love and affection for the child, since her early childhood, lies in the parents saying "NO" resoundingly and remaining firm with it resolutely provided however where such an answer is absolutely prudent or fair and the child is explained fully the reason for it. The child may show anger and sulk temporarily but will have permanently more respect for the authority of the parents.

So instead of coming up with a quick initial or cursory negative answer to every request for permission in the beginning -only to be reversed later, the parents must give an earnest thought to the child's request. They may even take time and then come up with a firm and final decision, which is fair, and this may turn out to be rightly in favour or against the wishes of the child. Unfortunately, this is not the case with a number of families and on many occasions.

The long term and far reaching consequences are disastrous. The daughter who has been conditioned by her own parents into exercising such a freedom in open disobedience to the parents tends to continue with the freedom after her marriage and runs the risk of the break-up of her marriage even before its first anniversary.

When the parents let the awe and respect of the child for them to erode, the most likely result is the frustration of most of the aspirations of the parents regarding his/her education, carrier, religious commitment, family attachment or good conduct in the society, and also his/her matrimonial happiness.

If only the parents would tell the child the truth: that this world is not as warm, rosy and saintly as it seems to the child while he/she is under the care and protection of the parents; that this world is not needless of precautions against dangers which lurk am in every corner, and that refusal of permission where prudent and kept firm is apart of that very care and concern which in turn makes the child feel this world safe and secured.

14- Gaining Vision from Family History A client brought his prospective (intended) partner to my office for a cursory (initial) appraisal of a proposal for a construction of a modern office building which he intended to finance with an option of a joint ownership on completion. When the prospective partner introduced himself, I got curious because of his surname. I asked whether he was related to a person of his community with the same surname with whom I was very close until he emigrated.