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Shiavault - a Vault of Shia Islamic Books Raising Children Lesson 10: Mistakes Parents often make Many parents have frustrated and angry relationships with their children. Even very young children sometimes become a source of annoyance with their constant demands, whining, and disobedience. Family life is supposed to be joyous and fulfilling but reality is often very different in many cases. However, a lot of the heartache and pain of child rearing is quite unnecessary.

If parents would take a little time and effort to improve their ways, realize their mistakes, and devise new strategies and plans, the dividends would be great. A small change in attitude and/or behavior would make life much happier for both parent and child. Below are some common mistakes that parents often make. Making children dependent Some parents believe that to love children means to do their work.

They take excessive pity on the child and feel that as a parent it is their duty to do things for him. So at six years old a child is still be dressed by the parents. He is considered too young to tie his own shoes, or comb his hair. Such constant fussing over the child does not instill confidence and independence in the child. A ten year old who never cleans his room, and lets mum or dad do it, will learn to always depend on others.

This may also foster laziness, sloppiness and a lack of initiative. A wise parent knows that the best way to help a child is not do things for him, but to show him how to do them. Learning the skills of carrying out personal and household chores are an achievement often appreciated during the early years. A child who is not taught to do them when young, will be very unwilling to do them when older.

Parents should help their children learn to do their own work, using the physical and mental powers the Almighty has blessed them with. Quarreling in front of the children It is natural for couples to have occasional arguments, sometimes even heated and bitter ones. However it is very damaging to carry these out in front of children. Children do not understand that this is not a cause of worry, and may begin to imagine the worst.

To them it could be a sign that the parents do not love each other, that they may even divorce and destroy his world. This causes depression and loss of security among children. Worse, it could have damaging effects as the child grows.