The husband must accommodate each wife with an equivalent...

The husband must accommodate each wife with an equivalent lifestyle and treat each one amicably. As far as emotions are concerned, they arise subjectively, rather than through conscious effort. However, the Qur’an does refer to this point. “You are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire.” (4:129) An emotional feeling is a state in which humans have no authority, and the Qur’an affirms this.

Although, humans may not have full control of their feelings, they do, however, have full authority over their behavior. A husband in a polygamous marriage must not openly display his emotions among the (favored) wife or behave in a manner that reveals his heart is more inclined toward one of the wives. Fatma: What is the correlation between orphans and polygamy?

If you fear that you cannot act equitably toward orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two, and three, and four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them then only one. (4:3) Sayyid: It was customary in the pre-Islamic era for men to foster orphaned girls. Traditionally, if orphaned girls had any means, then the fostering men would marry them and acquire their possessions.

Too often, these husbands mistreated and reneged paying orphaned wives their mahr [the marriage gift]. After the advent of Islam, Allah banned such practices and introduced a correlated degree of treatment between orphans and multiple wives [polygamy]. The essential point regarding this verse is that, in the English translation of the Qur’an, the excerpt “to deal justly” is mentioned twice in the same fashion.

However, in the Arabic text, two different words are used to explicitly define a level of treatment between marrying orphans and marrying ordinary women in polygamous marriages. The first one addresses the manner of treating the orphans in marriage.

“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans: Wa‘in khiftum ‘al-laa tuksitu,” as compared to the polygamous treatment that is termed, “Fa-‘in khiftum ‘al-laa ta-diluu: But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly.” The words “Ksit” (tuksituu) and “Adil” (tadiluu) are the two varying degrees of treatment. Ksit (tuksituu) is a superior level of justice, equity, and fairness, and it applies to the treatment of orphaned girls in marriage.

Adil (tadiluu) is a typical form of fairness, and it is applied to the treatment of non-orphan wives in polygamous marriages.