The Qur’an advises the husband or wife to take initial steps...

The Qur’an advises the husband or wife to take initial steps to amend the situation by admonishment, seeking family intervention, and professional or religious counsel for the disobedient partner. Secondly, if the problem continues, then physical association should be suspended by the example given of not sharing the bed with the spouse.

After all measures have been explored and exhorted, and the situation continues, and if it may be conclusive that reprimanding may be a form to solve the predicament, then it may be administered. However, there is a difference between which spouse executes the action. The Qur’an permits the husband as the executor of the verdict, but rightfully remains silent about the wife implementing the action on the husband. This does not mean, however, that husbands cannot incur the same ruling.

Islam advises the wife to pursue the sentence through the Islamic courts. The Islamic courts have the authority to physically reprimand husbands. Islam does not want wives to physically encounter their disobedient husbands since the men may become violent toward the wives. Fatma: What degree of infliction is permitted? Sayyid: The method and measure of administering this sentence is strictly regulated. The action must not be more than a light tap.

The tap should not leave any physical marks, bruises, or broken bones. If the action incurred such marks, then the person reprimanding must pay an indemnity. The Prophet said, “O people, do not beat your women with sticks because such an act has reprisal [Qisas].”[^6] For some people, a minor disciplinary action may deter their misbehavior while for others it has no effect.

If the partner foresees that reprimanding would not have an effect on resolving the situation then it is best to divorce instead of prolonging and aggravating the situation.

Fatma: You cite that under “adverse and consequential matters and as a means to reform the situation if the partner is open to change then disciplinary action may be sought.” Yet, the manner of judgment, “a light tap,” seems to be comparative considering that the partner is radically misbehaving; generally a light tap may not be instrumental. Why do you suppose that the Qur’an makes it a point to incorporate such an injunction?

Sayyid: Scholars deem that marital relationships should be unfettered from any form of physical punishment. However, to punish lightly could be as a form of bringing about a sense of shame, embarrassment, or belittlement.