Marriage Etiquettes – Al-Shia The al-Shia Scientific, Cultural, and Doctrinal Website Tue, 12 Nov 2024 13:50:02 +0000 en-US Marriage Etiquettes – Al-Shia 32 32 Islamic Conditions for Marriage (5) In this part of the article titled “Islamic Conditions for Marriage”, we shall focus on other relevant issues on the topic here. The Time and Etiquette for Wedding A group of families think that the marriage or wedding ceremonies provide a permit for carrying out whatever carnal desires they please. At the time of the wedding of their children, they commit divinely forbidden acts based on the request of their children, the couple’s friends, or their relatives. They think that this way they make the party more fun. However, marriage and wedding ceremonies should be accompanied by dignity; nobility; respect; and should be void of sins; forbidden acts and arousing elements. Thus they can be a cause of God’s pleasure and can yield divine blessings. Imam Musa, the son of Jafar (PBUH) said: It is not at all required to abstain from non-forbidden pleasures. Of course, we must be happy during a marriage ceremony and a wedding party. We should not forget to engage in legitimate means of entertainment like comics, jokes and singing. Even singing wise poetry, meaningful lyrics; pleasant slogans and the customs that are usually among Muslim women in such ceremonies are all fine. It is quite natural to stay up late at these times. The Prophet (Pbuh&hp) said: It is fine to stay up until late in the three following situations: Reciting the Quran; studying to acquire knowledge; accompanying a bride to her husband’s house. (1) In Islam it is considered better to perform the wedding at night. Fatimah’s wedding was carried out at night. Jaber Ansari said: When the divine Prophet married Fatimah off to Ali, a few narrow-minded people came to him and objected to why he had married her off with a very small amount of nuptial gift. The Prophet (Pbuh) told them that this was not his decision. It was Almighty Allah who married off Fatimah to Ali (Pbuth). On the night of the wedding, the Prophet (pbuh) prepared his piebald camel. He threw a gown over it and asked Fatimah to ride it. He ordered Salman to pull the camel. He himself followed it from behind. Midway through he heard something come down. He looked and saw that Gabriel and Michael had descended from Heaven each accompanied by seventy thousand angels. He asked them the reason for the dissension. They replied: We have come to see Fatimah off to Ali’s house, and then they express their congratulations. Then they said, “God is the Greatest”, and so did the angels. The divine Prophet too said, “God is the Greatest”. Thus, it became a tradition to say “God is the Greatest” when accompanying the bride. (2) Yes. You must prepare for and conduct the wedding ceremonies in a manner that will result in the descent ion of angels and God’s blessings. Imam Sadiq (PBUH) said: Take the bride to the groom’s house at night. (3) Imam Reza (PBUH) said: Wedding at night is one of the traditions of the Prophet since the night is for resting in peace and a woman is for peace, too. (4) The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered the daughters of Abdul-Mutallib and the women of Medina to follow Fatimah (PBUH) on the night of her wedding; be happy and sing; say God is great and praise be to Him, and avoid saying what God dislikes. (5) On the night of the wedding, it is recommended to feed the guests who have accepted the invitation. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: There are only five occasions for a banquet: Marriage; childbirth; circumcision; purchasing a house; and returning from the pilgrimage. (6) It has been narrated that the Prophet of Islam (PBUH) said on the wedding night of Fatimah Zahra (pbuh): O’ Ali. Prepare an excellent dinner in honour of your spouse. He added: We will give the meat and the bread, you provide the dates and the ghee. Then Imam Ali (PBUH) said: I bought the dates and the ghee. The Prophet (Pbuh) rolled up his sleeves and shredded the dates into pieces and dropped them in the ghee. He mixed them until it became a mixture of dates, oil and flour. He sent a ram to be slaughtered. A lot of bread was baked. He then told Ali (PBUH) to invite whoever he wished. Ali says: “I went to the mosque and asked the people to accept the invitation to Fatimah’s banquet”.(7) Regarding being invited to a wedding party, the Prophet (PBUH) said: Do not rush to go to a wedding party if you are invited. Wedding ceremonies remind us of worldly issues. But rush to a funeral ceremony when invited since that reminds you of the Hereafter. The families must arrange the marriage and wedding ceremonies in such a way that it not only has a bad influence on the kids, the youth and the young participants but does not also foster or encourage them to commit any sin. It also provides a convenient place for the believing men and women invitees to participate. Wedding Night Customs There are many verses of the Glorious Quran and traditions regarding intercourse which are very beneficial for both men and women. Consider some of the recommendations of the Prophet (PBUH) and the Holy Household in this regard which have been narrated in the most authentic books on traditions. It is polite for the groom to take off the bride’s shoes once she has been brought to his house. Then he should wash her feet and spread water from the house entrance door as far away as possible. This can block seventy thousand causes of the family becoming poor. Seventy thousand blessings will cover the house. Seven angels of mercy will start to fly over the bride’s head and their blessings will fill the whole house. The bride will be protected against diseases like insanity and leprosy for as long as she lives there. The bride should avoid eating milk, vinegar, coriander or sour apple during the first week of the marriage. These four can have a negative effect on her womb and may turn her sterile. The Prophet (Pbuh) said: If a woman starts her period while drinking vinegar, this will slow down its termination. Coriander will extend the duration of the period and will make delivery difficult. A sour apple will quickly stop the period and the blood which remains in the womb will cause illness. Avoid lovemaking at the beginning, the middle and the end of the (periodic) month. Do not make love in the afternoon. It is not good to talk, it is very bad to stare when making love. It is extremely psychologically damaging to the child who may get born if the man thinks about another woman while making love. It is better to wear light clothing when making love. It is inconvenient to make love standing up like animals. Avoid intercourse on the night of Fitr Holiday (the end of the holy month of fasting), and Sacrifice Holiday; under a tree; under the sun; between the two consecutive calls for prayer (Adhan and Iqamah); the night of the fifteenth day of Sha’ban (the birth date of the Holy Twelfth Imam); on the roof; and on the night of travel. Weddings and intercourse are recommended on Sunday night; early Monday night; Wednesday night; Thursday; Thursday night; the eve of Friday. These times have a lot of material benefits as well as very important spiritual effects. Making love at the times that intercourse has been prohibited may result in children with insanity; leprosy; foolishness; cross-eyedness; deafness; blindness; jealousy; becoming feminine; argument and separation; being sterile; having six fingers; having four fingers; being poor; extreme desire to at