And love itself is worthless when it is merely possessive...

And love itself is worthless when it is merely possessive; it is then on a level with work, which is merely pecuniary. In order to have the kind of value of which we are speaking, love must feel the ego of the beloved person as important as one's own ego, and must realize the other's feelings and wishes as though they were one's own".

( 54 ) Another point, which may be dealt with, and which does invite our attention, lies in our assertion that even sensual love may be beneficial when continence and virtue are its attendants, i.e., once inaccessibility and parting and then continence, virtue and piety bring such poignant grief and anguish, pressure and hardship to soul as yield good and beneficial results. It is in this context that the mystics say that "even carnal love may get transformed into spiritual love, i.e.

love with God". This tradition has also been narrated in the same context: Whosoever fell in love, became reticent and practised continence till death, he had a martyr's end. This point should not be lost sight of that this sort of love with all the benefits that in the special circumstances it carries, is not commendable. It is in fact dangerous.

Viewed from this aspect it is like a misery, which, if faced ungrudgingly and patiently by a man whom it befalls, is complementary and purifying for him; it ripens the raw and purifies the contaminated. But none would opt misery for himself so as to benefit from this instructive factor, nor on this pretext he can invent misery for others.

Russell elaborately writes on this subject:- "To a man of sufficient energy, pain may be a valuable stimulus, and I do not deny that if we were all perfectly happy we should not exert ourselves to become happier. But I cannot admit that it is any part of the duty of human beings to provide others with pains on the off chance that it may prove fruitful. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, pain proves merely crushing.

In the hundredth case it is better to trust to the natural shocks that flesh is hair to." ( 55 ) As we know that in teachings of Islam much has been devoted to the benefits and effects of miseries and hardships, and they have (at times) been described as an index of Divine bounty, but on this excuse no one has been allowed to cause misery to himself or to others. There is yet another difference between love and misery, i.e. love is greater "adversary of wisdom" than any other factor is.

Wherever it treads, it dislodges wisdom from authority.