I suggest that you hang this statement on the most noticeable wall in the house...

I suggest that you hang this statement on the most noticeable wall in the house: “a good book should be read several times, discussed several times, and relied on throughout one’s life.” Question no. 142: What is the best way to raise children and teenagers: closely watching and managing their affairs, or trusting them and giving them freedom? Question: I am often confused as to how to deal with my children.

In this age, in which corruption has spread everywhere, I do not know which way I should follow in educating them, especially those among them who are teenagers. I am very careful for them and precise in watching them because I am afraid that they may do some things secretly that may displease the Lord. Their father is opposite to me and this causes disagreements and disputes between us many times.

He says that my way will lead them to deviation while I think that his way in not watching them will be responsible for their deviation if one day it happens-Allah forbid! What do you think, Your Eminence? The answer: Moderation in everything is the aspect of the umma that Islam wants us to adopt. We are people of a religion that permits neither waste nor excess.

It announces clearly that (And thus We have made you a medium (just) nation that you may be the bearers of witness to the people and (that) the Messenger may be a bearer of witness to you) [^1]. Dear sister, if you are excessive in the educating of your children, please read carefully what I quote here from a letter written by a twenty year old young man to his mother complaining of his state to her for she has been excessive in watching him. He says: ‘I like to choose my concerns by myself.

I like if you would permit me to try life. I like to travel by myself. I like to… But you always say to me: if an accident happens to you, then what? If some misfortune afflicts you, then what? If… You still want to catch my hand and take me with you wherever you like. My opinion and thought have no value in your judgment. You say to me: What if you fall into an accident? Or you are involved in a trap? Or you commit a sin? Or you become corrupted…?

O mother, everyday you repeat these words many times instead of guiding me with what I should do in order to not fall into an accident or become involved in a trap or commit a sin or slip into corruption!! O mother, now I am twenty years old, but I have no will. Do you know why? It is because of your excessive fears; you have killed confidence inside me.