You have prevented me from learning self-confidence in...

You have prevented me from learning self-confidence in taking decisions because you always made decisions for me. Perhaps, you wished to sit beside me on the chair in my classroom fearing that I might make mistakes in my school lessons! O mother, today I am unsuccessful in my social relations. Between myself and those of the same age, there is a big difference in mentality. They say to me: O weak, fearful, pampered, coward… Yes, I really am so. I fear all. I trust in no one.

I have no hope for the future. Today, I am unable to even choose my university specialization or my future job. O mother, I like to do many things, but your “NO” makes me give up everything. With this “NO” you have closed my way.

I think if you could breathe for me, you would…!’ Dear sister, with the aforementioned lines, I do not want to say that you are mistaken in watching your children, but I want to say that too many warnings that exceed reasonable limits will have the exact opposite effect from what you want. By the way, it is said that one day a father saw his son on the front edge of the house’s roof and ordered him to go back lest he should fall down.

The son went back a few steps, but the father, out of his fear for his son, ordered him to go back further and the son went back a few more steps. The father was still worried and ordered his son to go back even more until the son fell down from the other side. The father hit his head crying: O my son! It is necessary for parents to know that each age has its own particular moralities that should be acknowledged within the general topic of morals in Islam.

Let us not complicate our children and then cause them to appear abnormal among people! At the same time, we should not let them be so free to do whatever they like as if they have no religion and forsake the best of the heavenly religions. You would be better off in allowing your children to advance in their lives, but with teaching them virtues and warning them of vices and their ends.

When you detect some deviation in them, you must suppress your anger and be calm and give them advice in a wise way. You should know that Allah has opened the door of repentance to His people, especially to the youth, and He knows they are weak. Hence, you should not suspect them and not be severe to them because this will take them away from religion and make them resist and go astray.