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Shiavault - a Vault of Shia Islamic Books Islamic Marriage Selection of Spouse Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded to marriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, “How do we select a spouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view?” Are Pre-Marital Contacts Necessary?

Ali Akber Mazaheri writes: “The notion that a man and a woman must ‘know’ each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies which practice it would not have shown a steady rise.

Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily.”[^1] The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as gheebat under certain conditions.) We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process.

Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage The school of Ahle-Bait (A.S.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness. A.

Religiousness The author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, “The person who does not have religion, does not have anything.”[^2] When a man came to the Prophet (S) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse, he (S) said, “It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse.” /em>[^3] Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (S) has forewarned, “A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness).” [^4] B.

Good Nature The next important criterion is good nature.