But if he has no good deeds...

But if he has no good deeds, his fellow's bad deeds are transferred to him, adding to those of his own" ( Ihyā al-Ulūm , Vol. 3, p. 145). One may combine seeking forgiveness for the one whom he backbit with seeking the Almighty's forgiveness especially if the backbitten person may not have come to know about the person who had backbitten him. There is the possibility that if one goes to someone and seeks his forgiveness, this will further cause bad feelings and grudge.

Such combination may also be applied in case one cannot meet the person whom he had backbitten because that person is now dead. It is commendable that one should go and seek forgiveness of one who knew that he had been backbitten by him, and it is commendable for the latter to accept the backbiter's excuse according to the verse by the Almighty that says, "… Hold to forgiveness; command what is right…" (Qur'ān, 7:199).

The Messenger of Allāh (ص) asked Gabriel: "What is this forgiveness?" Gabriel said, "Allāh orders you to forgive whoever wronged you, to stay in touch with whoever severed his ties with you, and to give whoever deprived you" ( Ihyā al-Ulūm , Vol. 3, p. 146).

According to another report, when humans are brought before Allāh Almighty on the Judgment Day, they will be addressed thus: "Let anyone who had sought rewards from Allāh stand", whereupon only those who had forgiven others would then stand" ( Ihyā al-Ulūm , Vol. 3, p. 146).

It has been reported about someone that a man said to him, "So-and-so has backbitten you." He, therefore, sent him a platter of fresh dates and said to him, "It has come to my knowledge that you have given me by way of present some of your own good deeds; therefore, I wanted to reward you for them, but please excuse me because I can not reward you enough" ( Ihyā al-Ulūm , Vol. 3, p. 146).

One route which the apologetic person can take is to exaggerate in praising the man whom he had backbitten and seek to be close to his heart and continue to do so till he wins his heart. But if he does not win his heart, his own apology and attempt to be close to that person will be regarded as good deeds counted for him, and they may suffice to wipe out the backbiting sin on the Judgment Day.

There is no difference between backbiting a young or an old person, a living or a dead one, a male or a female. Let seeking Allāh's forgiveness and supplicating for the person whom one had backbitten be done in a proper way that suits the person whom he had backbitten.