I had to dress in a lady-like fashion...

I had to dress in a lady-like fashion, I couldnt hang out with boys or in the streets with my friends and I needed to account for my whereabouts at all times. I would get into lots of trouble if a boy who lived near me walked with me home from school. This was problematic when I was the manager of the boys track team in high school because several of the boys lived near my house and the coach insisted that they make sure I arrived home safely, otherwise they would be in trouble with him.

We came up with a creative solution, but I didnt like the idea of being sneaky and neither did they. After all, we werent doing anything wrong, just walking home after practice; but we did what we could to make sure that my family and our coach were happy. Also during this time, my mother advised me or should I say ordered me, not to get involved with a Muslim man - ever. Her reason was that Muslim men oppress women.

Women werent allowed to work, were forced to live in poverty, had to completely cover up themselves, couldnt do anything without her husbands permission and the biggy - might have to share her husband with several wives. She often recounted the numerous times when before their divorce, how my father would give all his money to the mosque even if it meant I went without shoes.

What she didnt tell me was that he was not following pure Islam at the time, but was following the teachings of Elijah Muhammad and Malcolm X of the Nation of Islam, which was very popular especially during the 1960s. As a dutiful child I stayed away from obtaining any knowledge about Islam, because I trusted my mommy and knew she wouldnt tell me anything false. Finally, the time came for me to go away to college.

It was during this time that my adulthood journey through the wilderness of darkness began. I tried to be like my peers and wear short, fashionable skirts and go to parties and the like. I wasnt accepted with this crowd. I was told I was too serious - I was too focused on getting an education. Yet despite this, I got in trouble and mommy made the decision to get me out of it. That made me lose it as is often said. I started to fight and disobey my mother. I even met a Muslim man on campus.

He was nothing like my mother said. He treated me like a queen and never made me feel unintelligent or childlike despite the difference in our ages. I felt that I could trust him and he wanted to marry me and take care of me.