Unfortunately we got into a fight...

Unfortunately we got into a fight; one caused because I simply lacked knowledge of Islam and therefore didnt understand certain terminology. I was too ashamed of how I reacted to apologize to him, so instead I found myself agreeing with my mothers assessment of Muslim men and so I left college, and began my journey. I thought my life would be better, but the only blessings I received were my children - and even with them Ive had to struggle, mostly because I was a single mother.

The father of my daughters lived with me for many years but because he was so busy building his empire as he called it, I was still a single mother doing everything for my children and working and going back to college. Finally, I found out what he was doing - he was involved in drugs and was sleeping with other women, so we parted company. I fell apart, but then, looking into my childrens faces, I knew I had to pull myself together - if only for them.

Even in the face of immediate homelessness, I pressed on. I turned to the church for comfort, guidance and assistance, as it was the only place I knew. I was blessed to be able to buy a home and give a future to my daughters. All was going along fine, but then I felt that I needed someone to ease my burden. So I met someone and got married. We had a son and things should have been wonderful, but they werent.

The father of my daughters took me to court and lied not only on me, but also on our oldest daughter and stole my youngest with the courts permission in 1999. Im still trying to get her home - she is in danger with him and his new wife - the woman he was sleeping around with. My marriage fell apart, because my husband insisted that he heard the voice of god and was told that I was disobedient so he didnt have to take care of us, even to the point of denying us groceries.

I know now I was in an abusive marriage, yet all of my intelligence didnt show me that at the time. Allah, tried to show me, but I ignored Him, but Allah did not leave me even then. I was so blessed but didnt even know it. All throughout this time, I was still struggling to find a church where I fit in. I couldnt. The unanswered questions and the treatment of women in several denominations was just too real to be dismissed; so I stopped going but continued as best I could to keep my faith strong.