There were many things that confused me...

There were many things that confused me, hence there seemed to be religious times in my life where I would read the bible and do my best to follow it, then I would get confused and think that it was all too much for me to understand. I remember talking to a Christian girl in my math classes. I guess that gave me one reason to look forward to math.

I would ask her about things that I didnt understand, and whilst some explanations I could understand, others didnt seem to be logical enough for me to trust in Christianity 100%. I cant say that I have ever been comfortable living with a lot of aspects of the Australian culture. I didnt understand for example drinking alcohol or having multiple boyfriends.

I always felt that there was a lot of pressure and sometimes cried at the thought of growing up because of what growing up meant in this culture. My family travelled overseas fairly often and I always thought that through travelling I might be able to find a country where I could lead a comfortable life and not feel pressured like I did. After spending 3 weeks in Japan on a student exchange I decided that I wanted to go again for a long-term exchange.

In my final year of high school I was accepted to attend a high school in Japan for the following year. Before I left Australia to spend the year overseas I was going through one of my religious stages. I often tried to hide these stages from my parents. For some reason I thought that they would laugh at me reading the bible. The night before I flew to Japan my suitcase was packed however I stayed up until my parents had gone to sleep so I could get the bible and pack it too.

I didnt want my parents to know I was taking it. My year in Japan didnt end up the most enjoyable experience in my life by any means. I encountered problem after problem. At the time it was difficult. I was 17 years old when I went there and I learned a lot of valuable lessons in that year. One of which was things arent always what they seem.

At one stage I felt as though I had lost everything - my Japanese school friends (friends had always been very important to me, even in Australia), my Japanese families, then I received a phone call saying that I was to be sent home to Australia a couple of months early. I had lost everything - including the dream that I had held so close for so many years. The night that I received that phone call I got out my bible.