But they must have found some flaw in each one of them, and are still searching.

But they must have found some flaw in each one of them, and are still searching. In the end these excuses will lead them to a very bad wife. The Prophet of Islam (s.a.) used to say, “O people! When your daughter reaches the age of consent, get her married. A mature girl is like a ripe fruit on a tree. If it is not picked on maturity, it will fall and go waste. Similarly when a girl matures, if she does not get married, she will waste. Same is true for the sons.

If a boy reaches the marriageable age and does not marry, he too will be wasted. There used to be several people making such excuses even in the gatherings addressed by the Prophet (s). Some of them asked, “O Prophet of Allah!

What sort of match we should find for our daughters?” The Prophet (s) replied, “The Mu’minin are matches for each other.” (that is, some have the same status as some others) Wasail al Shia, Vol 14, Page 39 A mu’min is one who has a good character, follows the faith implicitly, and he is the kufu or match for another mu’min . If such a person asks for the hand of your daughter in marriage, agree to the proposal. The people asked, “O Prophet (s)!

Who is a match?” The Prophet (s) repeatedly said: “If you find a boy whose akhlaq (ethics) are good and follows the Faith properly, give your daughter in marriage to him. If matches are made without considering the aspects of akhlaq and faith, it will cause mischief and disturbance in the Islamic Society. Wasail al Shia, Vol 14, Page 51 What more mischief and disturbance could there be in the Islamic society than is prevailing now?

The Prophet of Islam (s) said from the pulpit that one should look for a boy with good moral character and faith as a match for their daughters. When a mother looks for a match for her daughter she should check whether the boy is proud, or jealous. She should check whether the akhlaq of the boy is sound. It has been quoted in the traditions that if someone looks only for the apparent good looks and the wealth in fixing matches for their children, the consequences of such marriages are tragic.

If wealth is the only criterion for a match, you will end up with regret, because such a match will be proud of his wealth or good looks or ancestry, and it is this pride which becomes a cause for differences and wretchedness later on. Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, “Give your daughter to a person who practices the faith properly. If he likes and loves her, he will respect her.