Secondly...

Secondly: Some experts on the subject of upbringing believe that, to the extent possible, the childs wishes should be satisfied. He must be allowed to do what he wishes to. They feel that the child should be given a degree of independence. They believe that as the child grows up, it will stop being stubborn. But this method of handling the children too has its own flaws. There are certain acts that can be harmful to the child and others around him, if he is allowed to do them.

The elders closing their eyes to such acts of the child is not being wise. Imagine a three- year- old trying to scale a ladder unhindered. The possibility of his falling and maiming himself for life will always be there. The child might try to light the oven unattended and consequently cause a big fire. The child may get into its head to bodily harm other children around him. The elders always have to prevent the child from doing such things.

The child who is free to do what he likes, and finds acceptance for these acts, with unruly behavior will in stages become a selfish and dictatorial individual. He expects that people will accept his point of view without complaint. He has not met with any denial of his wishes in the childhood and expects the same attitude from others when he has grown up. But in practice this is not the case. People can differ with his points of view.

After facing many such denials he gets frustrated and becomes reclusive. He will consider himself a defeated person and thinks that others are unreasonable. Islam considers stubbornness as a negative trait in an individual as several traditions can be quoted in this regard: For instance, Hazrat Ali says: Stubbornness is the cause of evil. [1] Brazenness (or stubbornness) causes harm to the [1] Ghurar al-Hikam, Page 16. human intelligence. [1] Stubbornness is the cause of conflict and enmity.

[2] Stubbornness harms a person the most in this world and Hereafter. [3] The best attitude is one of moderation. The parents who adopt this way of upbringing their children dont consider the stubbornness of the child as an aberration and are aware that it is the expression of his individuality. Instead of curbing this instinct, they use is for the training and upbringing of the child. They carefully consider and analyze the demands and acts of the child.

They give freedom to the child for his acts that are harmless and thus encourage the growth of its mental capabilities.