They become his friends and give him a helping hand in the...

They become his friends and give him a helping hand in the performance of his actions. Such children strengthen their determination to perform acts and give expression to their individualities. These children consider the parents as their friends and not persons who unnecessarily impede their actions. But such parents assert constraint on the harmful acts of the children and dont mince words in advising the child to refrain from such acts.

They clearly explain the reasons for stopping the child from such acts and divert its mind to some other useful activity. Because the child has a good feeling towards the parents, who dont put too many restrictions on him, agrees to refrain from the act which [1] Ghurar al-Hikam, Page 17. [2] Ibid., Page 18. [3] Ibid., Page 104. they ask him not to do.

But if sometimes the child persists with his demand for doing an undesirable act, .the parents have to put their foot down and prevent him from doing it. The child will then cool down after some time. The child should be trained to realize that in life one cannot always be stubborn, the parents must exercise restraint while handling the children and should not take recourse to beating them.

The child should not get the idea that the parents are tyrannical such children can turn rebellious with passage of time. At the end of this discussion, it is in place to mention the following points for the consideration of the mentors: (1) As far as possible give freedom for action to the children. Dont interfere too much with their actions. Dont perpetually keep on telling them not to do things. When the child tries to climb over a chair or a shrub, you ask him not to do it!

He tries to peel a fruit; you stop him from doing it lest he cut his fingers! He wants to light the water-heater, you prevent him from doing it, fearing he might burn his hand! He tries to pour decoction in a teacup, you stop him saying he might break the expensive China! He plays inside the house, you say he is making too much of noise! He stirs out into the lane, you fear he might be run over by a bicycle! Then, what would you expect the little child to do! He too has human feelings!

When you interfere too much with his acts, he might develop stubbornness. One reason for the trait of stubbornness in the children is excessive interference of the parents in their actions. (2) When a child becomes querulous, then try to find the reason for this and find a solution. The child will then calm down.