It is narrated that one day the governor of a province...

It is narrated that one day the governor of a province visited one of the caliphs and found him playing with his child. The child was climbing up the back of his father, the caliph.

The governor was surprised at what he saw, to the extent that he couldn't hide his surprise, so, he asked the caliph: "Why are you doing so, Oh my lord?!" Then, the caliph asked him, knowing that the governor was not treating his children in like manner, "How are you treating your children, my dear?" The governor answered: "If I enter my house, the one standing will sit down and the one talking will keep quiet." Then, the caliph said: "You are not illegible to be a governor, because by these actions, you are hurting your subjects." Indeed, if one of the parents recorded his behavior and wild condition when he is upset, on a video cassette and watch it when he cools down, he will feel ashamed at seeing himself in such a situation.

He will refute the image in front of him, because he lost control of himself at that time. Thus, we must not do something, which we will be ashamed of, or it will make us seek an apology. Is it that all ways are closed to us - that - we can't find a suitable method of controlling our children without using force or abusive language? Wise people say: "The last medicine is force." Why is it that our first medicine is force?!

Why can't we use the steps before it, may be it will bring the required result? Why are we using force first? Did we exhaust all the other simple methods? It might be possible that looking at (the children) with the sense of showing disability with their action might prevent them from committing mistakes in the future. And maybe talking to them with a soft voice might make them refrain from exceeding limits in the future.

Why are we dragging our children to be angry with us always due to our bad relationship with them? Why are we training them to be harsh with others without their will? This may have an effect in their relationship with their children in the future. Have we ever perceived the outcome of all these? However, the hegemony of parents can take a different shape, that their word is final without any consideration to the family's opinion.

This can be best seen through imposing the mood and desire of a father on his family; for example, he may impose the kind of food he likes on the rest of the family even if they didn't like it.