In any case...

In any case, it is not advisable for someone who wants to spend a whole lifetime beside a person and let him share all her belongings, tie up her fate with him and make him and intimate by making an eternal commitment, whilst not having sufficient recognition of that person. Carelessness and indifference in this field is a kind of suicide, which no clever, sane person can commit.

Following the selection of faith and school of thought, there is no other selection and decision as great and important as this one. No one affect our destiny as much as our spouse, following the prophets and divine leaders. (The impacts of parents relates mostly to pre-married age. Right now we are discussing marriage.) One wonders with what kind of words and expression one must explain this importance.

I believe the various dimensions and importance of the role of a spouse in one's destiny, and the essentiality of minute care in spouse selection cannot be defined as they should be. Even spouses themselves may not perceive and weigh their mutual effects upon each other's destiny in the practical field (because the effects are gradual), but the effect does its work in a continued and permanent way.

The marital world is really a queer and strange world, full of secrets and signals, quite amazing and based upon wisdom. Ways Of Spouse Selection First Way: Seeking Advice The worth and importance of advice is quite clear and vivid, so it is not necessary to discuss it. All that is important here is how to get advice in connection with spouse selection.

A Sage Guide It is a must for every one to select a sage and wise guide and seek his advice in all the important matters of his life, even though he may have to face a tiresome search to find such a guide. This is because a guide ha s determinant effects upon human life. For the youth, depending upon self-opinion, not seeking counsel can be dangerous, particularly in the problems of spouse selection. It may even cause inconceivable regrets.

Allah specifies the faithful as those who seek advice: و أمرهم شوري بينهم “And their rule is to take counsel among themselves.” So this sag and wise guide must be consulted and counselled on all the phases of marriage and setting up of a joint life. The Qualities of an Adviser One cannot seek the advice of everybody, since if the adviser does not posses the characteristics of good counselling, he will misguide and distract the one seeking advice.